K'zoo

Cloning is the only answer.

No, wait, then each clone would need a badge.

Perhaps a device to bend time and space enabling me to be in several places at once. I'll just have to be careful not to run into myself less the space time continuum explode with lots of pretty colors and a rather loud popping noise. It's never a good thing when this happens and Doc Brown shows up to give you a rather firm talking too.

I could train my cats to...on second thought any thing involving training cats is a bad idea.

Tape recorders!

No wait, I hate tape recorders.

So, really the best option seems to be bending time and space. Or flagging down The Doctor (or failing this finding an archeologist with some sort of Gate of Stars).

What's that? Pick just one session?

That's impossible.