Wednesday, April 12, 2006

"Maybe you're not cut out for college"

"Maybe you're not cut out for college. Settle down and have some babies."

Two years ago I had an well meaning 'advisor', really just someone the school hired to help with the crunch of fall enrollment, say those words to me at the community college I was attending. (Hey, the tuition was cheap.) The reason had nothing to do with my grades or my outlook. Apparently taking classes as I could afford them and when work would allow made me an undecided student.

I was twenty three and I had this woman in her fifties telling me to give it up. What I really wanted according to her was to raised children; after all I worked in child-care.

In her eyes, I think I'd blown my chance at college.

After all it must say something when one goes from a private university to a community college. Which it did, but what was being spoken had more to do with money and certain rules the University enforced. Well, it was a bit more than that but I'll save that for another post.

I bawled my eyes out in the women bathroom before I went back and demanded a new advisor. I received the classes I'd wanted (History of Women in American, a 2000 level class).

Last year I transferred over to a state university. I'm currently applying to another private university with an excellent Medieval Studies department. I'm going back to school full time and I can't wait.

The point of all this? I'm on the tail end twenty-five and still an undergrad.

A junior (finally) after this semester.

To some people (my father), this makes me a failure. I've heard more lectures that start with "All your peers are..." and end with something that isn't the word failure but close enough for government work.

Sometimes I believe it myself.

Mostly, I know that twenty five isn't too old to be an undergrad and that twenty seven isn't too old to start grad school. I'm sticking at it and finding my own way.

In the ten years since I graduated from High school I've at four jobs, two fianc├ęs, and a lot of groping around in the dark for myself. I also had a romance with an older man, I own my home outright, and I've got some friends that love me almost as much as they'll kick the shit out of me for bad grammar.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

1 comment:

rongrong said...

as tough as it is i think you sound intelligent, and smart and can survive this. i read only this post but i'm sure you can make it one day. :)